For a while now, my view of how we (the supposed body and bride of Christ) are functioning and should function, has been changing. I recognize that should anyone ever find this blog, I will have immediate naysayers and “ifs” and “buts” that come up to respond or criticize what I’m saying.
However, I have really been going through the process of deconstructing what we’re supposed to be doing as Christians.
The Bible specifically tells us when the believers and Jesus’ disciples began to be called “Christians” in Acts 11:26. It was in Antioch, the location of one of the larger churches of the time.
Down through the ages, the term has ranged from a rallying cry for those who claim to follow Jesus and a collection of all that has gone wrong with the world.
In the first century, this group of believers was so well known for their love for others that flowed from a relationship with Jesus that people were simply dumbfounded by their actions that were so very different from everything around them in the world because of this love. Unfortunately, that same “vibe” is not often associated with Christians today. In fact, when I’m honest, it can be a very strong point of conviction for me when I look back at some of my own actions towards others. “Why, yes, I am a Christian. . .Oh, I cut you off in traffic and gave you a mean look. . .oh sorry. . .what stupid thing did you do to make me respond that way??” So loving.
There are countless other reasons why I question what Christianity has become.
Dr. Owen Allen recently published a book called Saving Christianity: Why Millions of Christians are Dropping Out of Congregations – And How a Return to Early Christian Basics Can Give Christians a New Spiritual Life. I was fortunate enough to read the preproduction version of the book and endorse the published version. More importantly, I’ve been letting the book break down what I’ve seen as Christianity and the Church. For so long, my fear has been that I’ve just been rebellious in my attitudes towards things the Church or a specific church does because I disagreed with it. As I read that book, I began to realize that I wasn’t just being rebellious (Okay! Fine! There were times where I was being rebellious! There, I said it. Are you happy?!?). In some cases I was reacting to what was and continues to be wrong with the Church.
Largely, I have struggled with the authoritarian/controlling nature of the Church.
Tell me if you’ve experienced this. You get involved with a local congregation. They ask you to volunteer greeting at the doors, collecting the offering, serving in nursery, teaching Sunday school, playing in the orchestra, stacking chairs, whatever. Then you have to miss one time and those involved seem to question your loyalty to Jesus through insinuation because you weren’t at church to watch the paint dry (or insert your own activity that you missed) that one Thursday evening in the middle of June.
Don’t get me wrong. Not every church congregation is like this. However, I’ve been involved in my fair share that are. In fact, I was on staff at one church and my role required me to sit on the front row during services. One time they did not have children’s church and my children had to come into the service with us which meant we were not permitted to sit on the front row, per policy. When the pastor came into the service, he searched the crowd of ~1500 until he found me and realized why I wasn’t in the front row. Alternatively, my wife and I have been into running for years and often those races happen on Sunday morning. One church we attended repeatedly gave us the stink eye because we would go to races on Sunday instead of being at church.
Before I’d read Owen’s book, I once talked to a minister friend of mine about the aspect of all the expectations of parishioners to do all the volunteering on Sunday and Wednesday (and throughout the week). I pointed out that for most people that are not staff members of churches, Sunday was one of their days off from their normal workdays and was supposed to be a day of rest. I remember a Christian calendar I had growing up that was supposed to be humorous. It was a picture of a lion that looked like he was worn out and grumpy. There was a quote on it that said something to the effect of, “after serving in the nursery, setting and then stacking all the chairs, greeting people at the door, taking up the offering, teaching Sunday school [fit in all the activities, etc. here], I hardly understand why they call it a day of rest.” That was pretty much my perspective. However, what my minister friend didn’t get was that while the congregation were all expected to volunteer on their day off, it was a work day for the staff. They typically got two other days of the week as their “off days.” It took him a minute to have an answer for that. He finally said, “well we usually have to prepare stuff on Saturdays which is our day off.” It’s too bad he didn’t have a work day before that to get all that Saturday work done.
A big hesitation that I’ve had for years, even before Owen’s book started really messing with my “normal,” was this aspect of “spiritual authority” that church leadership claimed over people in their church. Unfortunately what I’ve found is that these “spiritual authorities” have the same problem as non-Christians: power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. One pastor I had was clearly the “boss” and he barely lifted a finger to help his staff when there was work to do around the church, particularly for big events. His youth pastor and he both had their turf and they usually didn’t cross the boundaries of that turf even when there were problems. We’ve all seen the headlines of these spiritual authorities that went off the deep end (Mars Hill, Bill Hybels, Ravi Zacharias, etc.). In fact, Bill Hybels was probably the first minister that I had a major “check” when I read a book by him in college. He made the statement in the book that he was planning a vacation and his wife got excited that they were going to travel until he told her that this was a trip for just him. She was crushed. . .and I was done. He wrote that story as if it was right and good and justified by his role and position. Sure, there are times when I do a “boys trip” with my brother and dad or son, etc. However, this was more than that. Looking back, it was a huge red flag and the the truth bore out about what kind of person he was.
Have you ever thought about first century Christians or even Old Testament believers and their “church going experiences?” For many, there weren’t churches on every corner. Church was not a normal thing Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night for these people. They did have a relationship with God, though. First century Christians were getting in the habit of assembling daily to worship Jesus. Who is ready for that church schedule as part of your Christianity?
Don’t get me wrong, God has moved on me in church and used the Body of Christ to help me grow and know Him more. However, the increasing issue that I have is that the Church/Organized Religion thinks it is THE ONLY way to have a relationship with God and that if you aren’t doing it their way, you’re not a “good Christian.”
That’s probably really the case. I’m not a good “Christian.”
I recently had a very bad business situation take place where the opposite side said I was not acting like a Christian. If they were the example of what it means to act like a Christian in the situation, yikes! Their words were meant to manipulate me into doing things their way.
So, yeah, I’m not a good “Christian.”
But help me, Lord, I want to love You more than my next breath. I want the sweet times of worship with You. I want everything from the stoic, academic study of Your Word to the pouring out of uncontrollable tears in Your presence. I want to trust You so implicitly that my conversations with You don’t end but just take a pause. I want to know Your will for me because I’ve spent so much time in Your presence that its as natural as having a conversation with a person standing next to me. I want to see my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren live the life of a lover of Jesus. I want to so love Jesus that His love really does overflow and pours out on those around me. And at the end of it all, I want to step across into eternity where I will see You face to face and live in Your love forever.
So if it’s between being a good “Christian” and this last paragraph, I’ll take the last paragraph. I give up Christianity to be a lover of Jesus. If you have to give up your Christianity to love Jesus better, do it. Now. And as one friend shared, you might just get your Sundays back.
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