We will study Reality Therapy (Glasser) and Behaviorism (associated with several theorists, one being B.F. Skinner).
Regardless of the theories you use (probably a mixture of several), one of the most important parts of establishing a counseling relationship is for the people helper to give the client the gift of listening. If you think back to times when someone has listened to you, you will realize how important this gift is to another person. Feeling that another is listening helps you believe that what you are saying is important to that person. Listening is not just taking turns talking; rather, it is concentrating on what the person is saying and not saying. Listening then results in a response from the listener that encourages the other person to clarify, expand, explain, etc. the message/information he or she is trying to convey.
The writer of Proverbs tells us “He who answers before listening; that is his folly and his shame” (18:13). Listening involves our complete attention and waiting until the person has finished speaking before responding. This means we cannot be concerned about what we are going to say or whether we will say the “right” thing in response.
Who is our model for listening? Of course, it is our awesome God, who “neither slumbers nor sleeps” (Psalm 121:4). God is always alert and welcomes whatever we need to speak with Him about. He promises Israel (and also us), “Before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear” (Isaiah 65:24). The writers of Scripture urge us from Genesis to Revelations to pray because our prayers will be heard! What a comfort that is.
Consider this:
- What was a time when you felt someone was really listening to you?
- How did you feel to know someone cared enough to listen?
- What comfort do you find in the devotional scriptural passages that God is indeed listening to you?
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